Saturday, May 26, 2012

Subway, Seminars and the Smoke that Thunders

So, where I left of in my last blog post I was slowly catching up to the present day.  We had just celebrated Women’s Day on April 7th and I was getting ready for exams and the end of the first trimester.  Exam time went by rather seamlessly here in Mangunde, but PCVs in other parts of the country did not have it so easy.  Word spread quickly (well, as quickly as word spreads here in Mozambique) that this year the Ministry of Education would begin provincially standardized final exams, what we call “ACPs” here.  Sounds like a decent idea, right?  That’s probably what the Ministry of Education thought when they implemented them too.  Well, it was a disaster.  Luckily Mangunde, being a privately funded mission enjoys a certain degree of autonomy from the Ministry and we were not submitted to such ridiculous and whimsical testing methods.  We’ve heard, however, that we will begin the provincial testing this trimester.  From what I’ve heard the provincial-wide tests were distributed in some cases only days before the tests were to be given.  The content of the tests was, at best, a random assemblage of questions loosely related to the discipline being tested.  This gave the teachers no time to prepare their students for the final exam and, in many cases, ended up submitting the students to testing on material they had not yet learned.  Am I surprised that they wouldn’t tell teachers this until a few days before the test?  No.  I’ve come to expect a certain level of neglect when it comes to organization in the central government and a barefaced inattention to advanced planning.  They seem to just expect that teachers and students will adjust to this minor change.  Does nobody plan ahead in this country?  I’ve learned, now almost 19 months into my stay in Mozambique, that the answer is no – we  have a teacher’s meeting in 10 minutes; cancel your classes this afternoon; there’s no school today because the administrator is visiting tomorrow and all the students have to spend the afternoon cleaning the classrooms; the dates of the holiday break have been moved up two weeks, cancel your trip.  Such is life in Mozambique.  Those that plan ahead are punished. 

No matter, I got all 492 of my tests graded (I have eight sections of biology and English with 60-70 kids in each class) and I booked it out of Mangunde to begin this first phase of my vacation from a fulfilling yet wearying life here in Mangunde.  The first event on the agenda for break was a weekend conference that had I planned for Mozambican counterparts of the JUNTOS project.  I am the regional coordinator this year for JUNTOS and in April had to put together the “Training of trainers” or “ToT” conference aimed at capacitating Mozambican teachers in leadership skills, technical knowledge of HIV/AIDS and confronting gender issues.   Not much of a vacation from the work and stress of school, but nonetheless a lot of fun and an important event for the success of the JUNTOS project this year.  JUNTOS is an acronym that stands for, in Portuguese of course, Youth United in the Work for Opportunities and Success.  It has a much better ring to it in Portuguese, I promise.  To boot, the completed acronym happens to spell out the word “juntos” which means “together” and is an informal national slogan that all Mozambicans stand behind.  Anyway, across the central region of Mozambique, there are 20 of these JUNTOS groups empowering youth to be leaders and activists in their communities through the mediums of theater, journalism, art or music. 

This particular conference was a two day crash course for the teachers on the basic objectives of the JUNTOS project, and some brief training in how to lead sessions on gender, HIV/AIDS, self-esteem, puberty and others.  Luckily, while I was behind the scenes planning all of the seemingly petty details of the event like food, transportation, supplies and lodging, I hired a trained facilitator to do the dirty work and actually lead the sessions because you couldn’t pay me to step into the conference room and lecture a bunch of adults in Portuguese about the importance of abstinence and the changes that happen during puberty.  The facilitator did a fantastic job with the counterparts, but, like so often happens in Mozambique, he had some last minute changes to the curriculum he wanted to make.  Thus, 20 minutes before the reproductive health session started the facilitator stepped out and insisted that I, as a biology professor, would be more qualified to lead the following sessions on the female reproductive system, the menstrual cycle, and masturbation.  Well great, I thought.  Here we go again.  Luckily, it’s not something I haven’t done before.  Between facilitating my own JUNTOS group for over a year and teaching 8th grade biology in which we have units on the male and female reproductive system I’ve spent a good portion of my Peace Corps service talking about the infamous penis and vagina.  The 8th graders tend to giggle when I throw up the poster of a gigantic penis, and are disturbingly adept at sliding a condom over a prosthetic penis, but all in all, reproductive system classes are always an experience.  You would think that the adult teachers attending the ToT conference, then, would be slightly more mature and would have had the ability to say the word “penis” without laughing uproariously.  This was not the case.  By the end of the session they were howling and telling stories about masturbation.  One counterpart relayed a story to us about how he proved that, indeed, you can’t urinate and ejaculate at the same time.  Thank you for that.  Outside of a few minor hiccups—no complimentary toothbrushes and having to eat chicken and fries with spoons—the event was a huge success.  All of the counterparts came away with a great understanding of the objectives of the JUNTOS projects, how to facilitate and motivate their youth, what potential projects they can initiate this year, and, most importantly, that HIV can be spread if an infected male ejaculates into your bath bucket before you take a bath, and, in the process of your bath you clean thoroughly all of your orifices with the infected water. 

After the ToT conference was finally over and the echoes of trifling complaints made by childish counterparts had faded from my consciousness my vacation had finally begun.  There was no time to rest though.  My plan was to hop a bus headed north and not stop until I got to one of the seven natural wonders of the world – the one and only, Victoria Falls.  Victoria Falls, or simply Vic Falls, is made up of a breathtaking stretch of the Zambezi River that lies is on the border between Zimbabwe and Zambia, two countries that border Mozambique to the west.  In order to get to Vic Falls from Mozambique and not get kicked out of the Peace Corps, you have to either fly directly there or go overland up the length of Mozambique, into Zambia and across to the border with Zimbabwe.  Because of an unstable political situation in Zimbabwe and the ruling dictator, Robert Mugabe, has been unwilling to submit to democratic elections, the Peace Corps has banned all travel to and even through Zimbabwe.  Unfortunately for me, that meant that what could have been a one and a half day jaunt through the verdant mountains of Zimbabwe turned into a two and a half day trudge through the dry flatlands of central Mozambique and Zambia.  No worries though, it was the destination that counted.  On day two of the trip, the three friends I was travelling with and I made the long-awaited passage across the border into an unknown land, Zambia.  To the untrained eye Zambia might seem no different from Mozambique – same dry grassland with rocky hills as a backdrop, and the same narrow pot-holed roads with roadside stands selling charcoal, goats and anything else one could want to stop and pick up on the way out of the country.  If you judged a country simply by its roads and landscape near the border, however, you wouldn’t be giving it a fair chance to prove its true worth.  On closer inspection I found Zambia to be a charming place which I became quite enamored with after only a few days there.  Why?  You might ask…well, it’s pretty simple, actually. 

The capital of Zambia is a sprawling urban metropolis called Lusaka which isn’t particularly beautiful but has clear advantages.  While Lusaka has many desirable offerings, above all, what sets it above any other African city that I have thus far encountered is that Lusaka has, yes, Subway.  The first time I saw it I thought it was a mirage.  I was entering the city on a bus and the yellow and white letters of “Subway” blurred by and teased my imprisoned appetite which lay behind the fogged up window of the bus.  It must be in my head, I thought.  When I was ambulatory later that afternoon, however, and had a chance to check it out for myself, I learned that what I saw was not, in fact, a mirage, but a real live Subway here in Africa!  When I entered it was quite a surreal experience.  From the menu down to the bathrooms, stock photos and wallpaper, it was identical to every Subway I have ever been to in the states.  The only exception was that instead of $5 footlongs that had 19,000 Kwacha footlongs.  Needless to say, I ordered a footlong oven roasted chicken breast on honey oat with extra sweet onion sauce.  Unfortunately, on this occasion they did not have pepper jack cheese which would have completed my fantasy.  Outside of the Subway in Lusaka, I found it to be a remarkably modern city, compared to the cities in Mozambique that I’m used to.  There were shopping malls with movie theaters, restaurants, and supermarkets.  Except for the clear absence of other white people, I could’ve been in downtown Milwaukee.  We stayed in Lusaka for only one night in transit, for the following morning we planned to board a bus headed to Livingstone, a town just a few miles outside of our final destination, Vic Falls.  It’s worth noting that on our one night in Lusaka we went to the supermarket to pick up supplies for dinner and ended up making fajitas with real tortillas, ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes and cheese.  It may have been even more divine than the Subway lunch we had on our way in.  For those who are unfamiliar with Mozambique, there is most certainly no supermarket that sells pre-made tortillas and nowhere within six hours of me that sells ground beef or cheese, so this was a special treat to say the least.

At last, though, it was time to see the one and only, majestic beast of a waterfall that is Victoria Falls.  We spent the night in Livingstone and woke up bright and early the next morning armed with our camera and ponchos to visit the falls.  We heard it before we saw it.  Half a mile awhile you could hear the low rumbling of the falls in the distance.  March through May is the wet and therefore high season for Vic Falls which means that we can at the peak of its volume and it didn’t disappoint.  It is said that Vic Falls flows at an average rate of 10 million liters per second, but that in the high season it’s been measured at as many as 70 million liters per second.  In addition to that, it boasts figures of 108 meters tall (354 feet) and 1.7 kilometers wide (1 mile).  As we approached the falls and could almost get a glimpse of them through the dense vegetation you could feel the sonorous blasts of water almost viscerally.  When we finally peeked through an opening in the trees and got our first sight of falls I was surprised to see that I really couldn’t see anything.  I thought it was maybe just at a bad angle, but every subsequent lookout we stopped and peered through we were struck with the same image—mist, mist and more mist.  It turns out that while Vic Falls is magnificent in its power and sheer size, in the high and wet season there aren’t a whole lot of falls to be seen.  What we could see were vast blankets of mist billowing up from a deep and narrow chasm that seemed to have been chiseled out of the earth.  While shrouded in mist, the strong morning sun managed to pierce through the covering and create a complete and vivid rainbow to give color to the scene.  At this point we had walked along the length of the precipice that looks down into the gorge and while we hadn’t yet seen a whole lot of the falling water we had certainly felt enough of it.  During the wet season, if you going anywhere close to the edge of the 108 meter deep gorge you will be drenched it what seems like a heavy downpour coming down in thick droplets.  It is, of course, the mist billowing up powerfully from the bottom of the gorge.  Because of the booming sound and the thick mist that define Vic Falls it has come to take on the slogan “The smoke that thunders” and you can’t take two steps without a local referencing that catchphrase as he tries to con you into buying one of his “smoke that thunders” nick-naks.  In the dry season, however, “the smoke that thunders” apparently doesn’t quite live up to its name. One can allegedly walk along the cliff as we did without being threatened with even a drop of water.  Additionally one can actually walk out into the river on top of the falls and swim in the small pools overlooking the edge because of the absence of water.

That day we spent most of the morning walking the gorge, hiking down to the riverside, and even walking through a small zebra sanctuary up near the top of the river.  We couldn’t leave, however, without walking across the historic bridge that connects Zimbabwe and Zambia over the gorge and provides one of the best views of the falls from a distance.  The bridge also happens to be the host of a bungee-jumping operation boasting one of the world’s highest bungee jumps.  You fall off of the bridge and plummet 100 meters into the tumultuous mouth of the gorge where, if you’re lucky, the rope with catch and sling you back upward to avoid you falling to your untimely death.  I have to say, I was skeptical about the bungee jumping.  Heights have never really been a point of extreme interest for me.  I was slightly nauseated just stepping onto the bridge to begin with, let alone contemplating the thought of jumping off of it.  Add to this the fact that at this very bridge about five months ago there was an international news story about an Australian girls whose bungee cord snapped during her jump and she miraculously survived the 50 meter fall into the teeming rapids below, and I was downright terrified.  They replaced the ropes, so they say.  It came time for us to make a decision: do we jump or don’t we?  Just my luck, all three of my friends opted for the $150 Big Air package, which includes not only a bungee jump, but also a zip-line across the gorge and a gorge swing.  Hmmm, talk about peer pressure.  If you were me, what would you do?  Risk falling to your untimely death or swallow a little pride and be the cameraman?  I went with a compromise.  I opted for the “kid’s meal” of bungee jumping, the zip-line across the gorge, hold the bungee jumping and the gorge swing.  You can make the zip-line sound really bad-ass if you talk it up, but, in reality, is not that much more adrenaline-pumping than the ball pit in the McDonalds PlayPlace.  I stick by my decision, though.  It was beautiful.  I slid across the length of the gorge 100 meters over the water and spread my arms out to let the moist air blow through my fingers as the sun lowered in the distance.  It turns out my friends did not fall to their deaths while bungee jumping, but they did have some pretty sweet pictures to take home at the end of the day because I was up in the cockpit shooting them. 

After our experience in Vic Falls, we had one more day in the Livingstone area before having to head back to Mozambique.  We decided that we would take advantage of a wonderfully diverse wildlife park that was within walking distance of the Falls.  Thus, we woke up early in the morning and headed to Mosi-ao-Tunya National Park.  We opted for a guided walking/driving tour of the park and spent the next 3 hours or so testing our hands at spotting wildlife.  Over the course of the safari we spotted numerous giraffes, countless impalas, a few elephants, one of which charged the open-air jeep we were in at the time and nearly gave us all heart-attacks, warthogs, wildebeests, a small family of white rhinos and a number of other savanna dwellers.  All in all, it was quite a worthwhile journey.  After the safari we had one last taste of Zambian cuisine – Subway and delivery pizza – and were on our way back into Mozambique.  When we arrived at the Zambia-Mozambique border around noon we quickly realized that we were, indeed, back in Mozambique.  We were in quite a hurry to try to make it all the way down to Tete City, a good five hours from the border, before dark, and we arrived at the border only to realize that the guard was off duty and eating lunch.  We could’ve probably walked through unnoticed but figured it would be a bad idea to illegally enter our own country of residence.  The guard must have decided to also take an afternoon siesta because we waited and waited for him to come.  It’s good to know that Mozambique is really serious about border control.  Next time you need to smuggle drugs into the country, try between 12 and 2pm, you won’t see a soul there.  Eventually, however, he came and leisurely, unapologetically stamped us back into our territory.  The next day I arrived back to Chimoio, the provincial capital, stocked up on food, and thus ended my magical adventure which had taken me to far and distant lands.  I headed back to Mangunde the following day to begin the second trimester. 

I will leave my story there for now.  It turns out that because of a couple of strategically placed holidays in the Mozambican education calendar I only actually stayed at Mangunde for about three days and gave exactly two days of classes after my Zambian adventure before heading off for another week and a half vacation.  I will pick up that story, however, in my next blog.  For now, I hope that all is well at home and that you continue to enjoy the warm spring weather.  Until next time!   

No comments:

Post a Comment